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This month’s journaling prompts on the theme of SELF-CONFIDENCE are designed to help you build a steady, grounded belief in yourself. Not by forcing positivity, but by gently understanding how you think, feel, and show up in your everyday life.
Mini-theme: Asserting self and finding purpose
Today’s Prompt: Where do I dim my voice to please others, and what happens if I speak up kindly?
These are my personal responses to today’s prompt designed to encourage you to use the prompts to develop your journaling practice. If you are not already receiving the monthly themed prompt calendar there is a sign up box below and you are very welcome to come and join us.
I’m going to keep this prompt short, because it’s something I find painful and I don’t know how much I want to dwell on it. And I feel like if I just say it, I can move on and forget about it.
But maybe I shouldn’t move on and forget about it. Maybe I need to dwell there. Maybe I need to spend more time there? Maybe I need to heal there?
So, it’s with my family. I dim my voice to keep the status quo, to not get told by my mother not to argue (yes, at my age), not to get argued with by my brother who treats me like I’m a child. I dim my voice to keep the status quo because I’m different to them. I want to live my life differently and they criticise it and point out their perceived risks.
And because it has often been to do with my work, my self employed entrepreneurial work, you know sometimes they are right. Building a business doesn’t go smoothly. It’s ups and downs, it’s a lot of getting it wrong before you get it right.
Wanting to live my life in a certain way, for example with my faith, is also problematic. Just because you believe in God doesn’t mean everything will be sorted out and perfect. Not at all.
But part of this prompt is about, ‘What happens if I speak up kindly’, which is interesting because my approach has been to ‘approach with kindness’. In a situation where I feel I can’t win, where I’m not supported basically, by the people who know and love me most intimately. I’m not supported for being me, I’m supported for the results of me. So I’m not supported ‘no matter what’, I’m supported for which I mean ‘approved of’ if I do the right thing. That is, what they consider to be the right thing.
So because I feel I can’t win, I’m just being really kind to those people.
I feel that’s the only way to maintain my relationship with them.
And maybe that’s ok.
Maybe that’s all they can deal with emotionally and I have to be fine with that.
Today I don’t feel that there are any neat answers. It all feels a bit scrappy. I think I’d like to journal on this more but I don’t want to end up just feeling sad. Food for thought today.
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You can also view previous month’s themes here:
December Journal Prompts CLOSURE
November Journal Prompts PRACTICE
October Journal Prompts SEASONAL SHIFTS